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Because of the Old National Bank Mid-North Promise Program, our Community Initiatives team encounters incredible stories about our incredible neighbors every day. These are not stories they want to keep to themselves. They need to be told, and retold, and shared again.
So the Community Initiatives team created a podast called Spotlighting Our Community to help shine the spotlight on the great things that are happening right here in our community.
In our first episode, you'll hear from Paradise Bradford as she shares her journey to create a nonprofit—Pretty Passionate Hands—to give back to her community. You can follow Pretty Passionate Hands on Facebook and Instagram.
A transcript of this episode is available below the video.
About the Spotlighting Our Community podcast
Spotlighting Our Community is a monthly podcast hosted by members of the museum's Community Initiaves team. All episodes will be available on our blog. You can also subscribe to our YoutTube channel for the latest episode.
Transcript
Nate Reeves:
Hello, and welcome to this episode of our podcast, Spotlighting Our Community, where we highlight the voices and the stories of the Mid-North Promise Program. I am one of your co-hosts, Nate Reeves. I am the Family Learning Navigator at the Mid-North Promise Program, and with me is my wonderful co-host, also boss, Kelsey Hambleton. Kelsey, how are you doing today?
Kelsey Hambleton:
I am doing well. Thank you, Nate.I'm excited to be here. My name is Kelsey. I'm the manager of the Mid-North Promise Program at The Children's Museum of Indianapolis and I am so excited about our guest today. Paradise, we would love for you to introduce yourself. Maybe tell us a little bit about yourself for those listening
Paradise Bradford:
Hi, my name is Paradise Bradford. Thank you, Nate. thank you, Kelsey.I am a family who receives the Promise Program’s support and I'm very thankful that I've been there for four years. I've been a family member, so I thank you guys for everything you have done for us—me and my family—and the support that I've received. So I'm here today to share a little bit about myself.
I am a mother of seven. I am the founder and director of Pretty Passionate Hands. It's a nonprofit organization that supports teen mothers and fathers and we basically get our families and meet them where they are between the ages of 12 and 18 and prepare them for a brighter future for them and their children. If they have the child already, or if the child is being conceived…or, sorry…if they're pregnant with the child at the moment we give them the basic needs, from hygienes: soap, their toiletries, diapers, wipes,underwear, socks, for them and their child while they're in our program. And also give them 24-hour mentorship and meeting them where they are. So we just kind of ask our families to come to us, tell us what they need, and we build around them for a brighter future.
Nate:
Paradise, what I love about this is you are in your office—which I've been able to be there at—so I know when you're listing all those things, you're looking through all the stuff that you've got around the office and I love it. So, obviously to get to that point, it has been a minute—so can you catch us up to the genesis, if you will—the very beginning for yourself? Where did Pretty Passionate Hands start? How did that get going for you? Kind of bring us into a little bit of history there, if you don't mind.
Paradise:
I am a mother of seven, like I mentioned. My oldest daughter is 16. I had her when I was 15. And the rest of the children kind of came after that. They're not too far apart.
And during that journey of becoming a teen parent, I didn't have a lot of support. I made a lot of bad decisions by being in survival mode. And I did not want that for any other team parent that may have had a child at a young ag feeling the guilt from our family and our generational curses that are carried on to each generation, from abuse mentally, with making the decisions that we do in life because we don't have the guidance in our families. And not having a family member, who has probably went the right way, come back into our households and say, “Hey, this is what I did. This is what you need to do.”
And this is what is happening right now in our families. We don't have that. We don't have a lot of family members who we can look up to. We don't have a lot of family members that, you know, get rich or get successful, and come back to our households, and you know, try to change the next generation. So it's something that I have taken upon myself to break a generational curse in the households that I have the privilege to step in and give my…give the education that I've learned and the life skills that I learned from. But also just giving them a second chance and knowing that there's a different avenue if somebody gives them a chance.
And that is something the Promise Program has done for me. And I had to advocate. I had to, you know, come out and give myself to you guys—be vulnerable and share my information to receive those resources. And it's a lot of families that don't. So, making Pretty Passionate Hands was just to build a place for the people in my community—that has come out of my community—and give them a safe space where they can first break the fear of going to other resources and just telling them our truth. Because we don't like to do that because we're scared of CPS or DCS, and all of these different organizations, and the government that may come into our households. And (we) feel that we're unfit, because we don't know the proper way of parenting, or the proper way to handle certain situations, or what to ask for to get out of our current situation.
Pretty Passionate Hands is built on those needs of our families so this is, like, the first step to being able to give them the resources outside of us. Letting them know what resources are, for which ones we need, what they are there for, and how not to take advantage of them—but use them so we can get to the next level in our life for us and our children.
To take a little journey back on how that came across my mind was being that mother—I was emancipated at 16 from my mother and father, who were drug addicts at the time. They were very functional so no one could tell that my mom was an alcoholic, or that they use drugs. And my grandmother raised me. A lot of things that they did before, I didn't really experience it. But I did see the good, because I was looking through the lens of being the child that didn't live in the home.Even though I didn't really have to deal with them being active drug users or alcoholics, the times that I spent with them was always lovely. Iit was holidays, or it was always times where it was supposed to be fun.
When you're a child that doesn't live in the home, you have different experiences. So my little brothers and sisters that lived with my mom—they did go to foster care and they had a very,
very, very wonderful foster mother, who kept my parents active, and helped them stay sober, and give them the access that they needed to gain the children back into their custody. And, you know, you don't find a lot of people like that—that actually have their job and do it for the right reasons. And sometimes there's alternatives behind the work that a lot of people do. And it puts our community in a fear of, “Oh, if I go to them, and ask for help, this is going to happen. If I do this, this is going to happen.” and we never look at the bright side. Without someone putting us at a table and saying, “Hey, I've been through this. These are the things that happen. And if you try it this way, it may come out to be a better picture than what we are always used to—which is failure.”
Being that teen mother, and being emancipated, and then being out on my own with my daughter, and really trying to figure it out—it wasn't probably the best choice for me at the time but I had nobody to say, “Maybe that's not the route to take.” I had no place to go because I was 16 years old, and they would say, “You have to have a guardian,You have to have a guardian”, even when I was emancipated, there was a lot of places who still was still representing I needed to have a guardian
It was a little difficult, because my hopes were high, like, “Oh, I can do all this on my own.” But, I really had no idea what my life…what position I was placed in…being on my own with my daughter. So I turned to bad relationships I have seven children's fathers. All of my kids have a different father. Because being a 15 year old parent, the first child's father kind of stepped away because it wasn't what he wanted. And I wanted to keep my child. My second daughter—I was in a very abusive relationship and it affected me for what my future had ahead of me. And I became a very defensive person. I felt like I had to protect myself. I didn't know who was loving me, and who was using me, and if it was real or not. So it made me put up a wall that turned out to be that wall in every situation.
I was in so…work, school, friendships, whatever…I carry that. I had no person to trust and still nowhere to go at that age. So I would go back to the next guy who said, “I love you,” and probably was nice to me for three months, and then here I am, pregnant again, and it just continued as a pattern. And it put me in a lot of bad situations. And ultimately, I let love win.
I went to prison for fighting for love and during that time I thought about all the decisions that I made. I was alcoholic at the time that I went to prison. So I had to detox for six months. (It) was very tough. And after that, I still thought that I had everything together. But I knew that I was there for a reason. I wanted to blame everybody else but myself. And I thank God for the judge that was there when I went to court after that detox. And he was like, “You still need help.” And at that moment, I didn't really want to believe that. Like, “No, I don't. I want to get home to my kids. I love them. I'm changed.” And he's like, No.” I think that was the best decision he could have made, because I really wasn't ready.
Going to prison for six months actually turned into a three-month sentence because the program that I was supposed to take at Rockville, they ended up sending me to IWP, which is here in Indianapolis. Andthey didn't have that program. So I spent three years in prison and those three
years (were) the best three years of my life. I had to be isolated…you know…I had to really reflect on what's going to happen next. If you see you don't have anyone, what could you do to change your life for your children, to never come back here again?
I was in a cell with a woman who was doing life in prison. She said, “Paradise, I don't know you. But I see a lot of people that's come here. I've been here for many years. And I'm not going to leave. I've seen them come and go, but there's something about you—you're not supposed to be here.” And I was like, “Um, I just want to get home to my kids.” She's like, “Who do you love?” I'm like, “I miss my kids. I love them.That's all I have.” And she's like, “I don't think that that's what you really understand. You came here and the only people that you love…you left them to let other people take care of. So that means they have control over you. They have control over your life. And if that's the only thing you love, they have control over you. Sso what you need to do is always make sure that you never come back here again.“
That very day I sat down and I wrote in a book, which is…you'll see it on my bio. I had a folder that I actually sat down for the last six months before I was released, and I wrote down, “What am I going to do when I get out?” And I said, “I don't want anybody else to feel this way. Not another girl. Not another person. And my daughter's number one. Never want them to feel like there's no way to turn. I know I have a big mouth, so I can advocate, and I can talk, and I know when I get angry, I make sure people hear what I said.
I was angry that day and I wanted to make sure that the world and our community understood I wasn't there because of the choices I made. It was because of the decisions that I have made, thinking I was doing right by bringing a child in this world. But I had to survive. And when I had nowhere else to run to, I did whatever I thought would get me through each day. I don't feel any child with that at 15 years old should feel like that. And if I had somebody that had pretty passionate hands on a corner somewhere, I wouldn't have been a mother of seven. I wouldn't be the woman I am today, which I'm very glad I had to take my own path, but I wouldn't be here. Like, I would have had another option to take. I probably wouldn't have seven children, but I wouldn't have this story, either. So, I'm very thankful for it all so being released on March 15th of 2015, I became Pretty Passionate Hands’s founder.And I didn't know that.
I met a lot of girls that I met in prison. They were already out. Some were like coming out a couple days after me. I went back to Terre Haute, where I'm from, and lived with my mom for 30 days. Everything kind of went downhill from there. I was stabbed within that 30 days. It was like, “No. This is not it.”
I had my mom drive me down to Indianapolis. Went to the Julian Center. By the time I got there, my bed was taken. Because we had to get here, so I rode the IndyGo bus, met one of my friends on the far East Side. She was on house arrest. And I stayed with her for a few months. And then I just kind of figured out, “What are you gonna do?” I didn't really know what I was gonna do at all. I hung out with her, met a guy, got pregnant with my son, and that's how my journey started in Indianapolis. And from there, that was my bill that went off that said, “You can't come here and have a baby and don't have your other children with you. It's not right. It's not anything that God has created for you to do. I think this is your wake-up call.” Because the only time I'm focused is when I have my children.
So, my my two oldest at the time were living with their grandma and their godmother, and I decided I was getting my kids back. I fought for a little bit through custody with my oldest children's grandmother because she had them for three years. They were settled, they had welfare, they had a lot of different things that she had accumulated during that three years that she had the kids. I think that's rough for any person just to give up because you're going to change your whole lifestyle. When it was time for me to get the kids, I went through a short, brief, court battle. But I was able to get my children back. That started off my path to “What do I have to do to keep them? What do I have to do to make sure that none of this ever happens again?”
Pretty Passionate Hands was the resource for me that was something that I do naturally by nature. Iit doesn't feel like anything— it just feels like paradise…being Paradise—I'm loved there. You know, I love to see other people when they say, “Thank you.” I've watched young girls grow from here and stop at one child. And then I've watched myself become a woman.
I didn't know that I would be here. I never knew that this would be for me, but I want to thank you, Kelsey. Because, when I opened and came into the Promise Program, you were my first mentor through the program. You pulled this woman out of me. You kept saying, “Well, we’ve got to find something you want.” And it took me time. But you continue to encourage me that it's OK if we mess up. Just pick up.
I’ve had so many things that have gone on in my life during this journey with you guys. And you guys keep me going, and keep me going. And I'm so thankful that Nate took your place, because I don't think it would be like this right now. It was just your other person. And he keeps me encouraged still to this day. And life is really rough, but Pretty Passionate Hands is here—not only for my own self and my peace of mind—but for my families.
I know I kind of, like, try to cut everything short so we can get there. But, those are just a little bit of the the milestones that I went through building Pretty Passionate Hands. In 2023, I'm here, we're in our office space as of November of last year. We're serving five mothers full-time, one father full-time, and then we have our families that we serve monthly that come to our pantry and receive things. That's pretty much how Pretty Passionate Hands started. That's just a little bit of it.
Nate:
Well, thank you so much for sharing. Yeah, it's a broad question, right? ”How did this start—this entire thing that's been your passion—can you please sum this up?” So, thank you so much for telling us about that and bringing us into your story just a little bit. Because, obviously, there's so many more volumes to that, I'm sure, Paradise. But I think you gave us a really healthy, beautiful snapshot of the work that you're doing through Pretty Passionate Hands.
We’re, personally—both Kelsey and I—are grateful for you and welcoming us into your story and how we can support you. So, thank you for sharing the beginning of what I know is going to be a lasting thing in Pretty Passionate Hands.
Paradise:
Thank you.
Kelsey:
Yeah, and what a testimony to how important it is to find the thing that you're passionate about
and give it back. Especially as someone who has walked that path. Paradise, I just keep thinking how wonderful it is to be working with people who feel like they can see themselves in you, and how that must mean…or what that must mean to them.
I appreciate hearing the story of how we got to be here. Because, I think it's really relatable to a lot of people—right? It's not always a straight line. We know that. And it doesn't mean that you're still not moving forward.
Paradise:
Yes.
Kelsey:
So, going off a little bit—I know you gave us some great background about how Pretty Passionate Hands started. And in your work there, where are some of the gaps in support that you're seeing. You know, gaps that we, as a culture, are leaving open, that you're finding in the work that your organization does?
Paradise:
I believe, myself, that it's it's a lot different when you're a grassroots organization and you're
dealing with your neighbors, because we can relate through life experiences. One thing for me in my nonprofit, I only tell stories that I can relate with my mothers. All the things that I can't relate…I go and get other people who have experience there. Because, I can only see through the lens of actually being a teen mother. And I can look at what it feels like to have more than one child, and the struggles, and give those shared stories, so that it makes more of an impact.
And I feel like the gaps that we have here is…it's not a lot of leaders that are over organizations that have actually walked the story they're telling. So, you can't really relate when you see a family come in and you have a structure, and you're saying, “Oh, well, the application says it has to go like this.” And if it doesn't, “Oh, you don't qualify.” Well, every person that walks in here— they're all here for the same reason. Because ,obviously, they see the services we allow but their stories are different. So I think when it comes down to the community sharing what our families need, or sharing what the organization is giving, sometimes we have to meet our families wherever they are and then meet their specific needs as we're aligning into our program needs, as well.
When I speak on the barriers that we face, I think it's just realistic that this is life, and having to understand that you have to think outside the box when each family comes in. I know that, myself, I've been to a lot of organizations throughout my journey.
Even with the Promise Program, you know…you guys will have one week where I'm fully ready, and I have it all prepared, and we get started, and we take care of everything and—boom—something happens and I'm apologizing because I feel so guilty. Because I feel like I failed so much. So, when something happens…as for myself…I guess because I…I always feel like…these people are doing some things they don't have to do. You come in, and not my full potential is to come, and be my best, and when something happens from life experiences that are out of my control, I still feel guilty.
So, being in a place where you know I can say, “Hey, it doesn't matter what happens. As long as we get to the finish line. We're gonna go over a bump. We gotta splash in the pothole here. We're over here…this burns down, but we're gonna make it there. That's all that matters.
I feel like those are some of the barriers that the community may not see when we're assisting these families. I'm not sure if I answered the question or not, but…yeah…that's my answer for that one. I'm sorry.
Kelsey:
No, I think that those are great points. I think, especially, it's a well-taken point that you're serving your neighbors, so that one-to-one connection, that kind of speaking from a place of experience, is even more powerful because it's a grassroots kind of feeling. And I think that's important
Nate:
Yeah. Absolutely.
There's so much right that the breadth of this is just so expansive.We might we might come back and talk more uh extensively about this as you continue to discover—which, by the way, you said this launched.. Was it March 15th…is that what you said?
Paradise:
Yes. 2015.
Nate:
So we're just, what…this is year…what, is this year…six? Year… you're seven… eight. Yeah, I don't know. I should have paid more attention. You know, addition… it's fine. It's fine
Paradise:
We’re in year eight. This is year eight coming around.
Nate:
I'm so sorry. I I started down a path I should not have gone down. Either way, it’s a big deal. Just celebrate it. That's a huge deal, Paradise. Eight years that this has been a dream, that this has
been recognized. And you're moving. You've got office space. You've got families. You've got moms and dads. That's great. That's incredible.
With that—you sharing your story and knowing the people in the program that Kelsey and I are working with, the families that we know, and are getting to know—they all have their own personal stories, and that's really the beginning of this podcast idea, right? We just want to give a platform to each person to say, “You have a story. We want you to share it.”
So, in light of that, what would your encouragement be to someone who's out there right now, listening, who stumbles onto this, whether they're in this neighborhood or around the world— because YouTube is global—how would you encourage them towards something that they want to begin? Something, as well, that aligns with their story—what would your thoughts, your ideas, questions for them to ask?
Anything that helped you formulate that in your head to where it is now—what would you do or say to those people that are in that same beginning stage of, like, “I know I'm supposed to do something. I've got this story in my life. I’m both good at it and I like doing it. I want to move in that direction.” What do you say to them? What would your encouragement be?
Paradise:
My first thing will be: do the work.If it is community work, go ahead and start the work, so you can show what you're doing. You have to be dedicated.
The first thing is you have to put in the work, and not just say, “I can do this,” and, “I want to do this.” You have to be the doer. That's number one. You’ve got to be that one percent that others don't want to be. And you have to be able to know that you're going to bump your head. it's never going to work out right. it's just…it doesn't happen like that.
But also, if you don't have family support, go out and find your resources in your community find the ones that align to what you're focused on, and build those relationships. Because those are going to be the people that root for you. It's going to be the ones that don't know you…it's going to be the ones that are here to give you the access that you need. Because, you're going to need it. You're going to need it during this journey because it's going to be tough.
And then we have to separate our life our real life from our professional life. Self-care is the first thing. You cannot take care of anything around you if you don't take care of yourself. I bumped my head so many times doing that and I think the time that I dived into myself is where I found my place. Being in this office right now…because I was selfish with my time, selfish with my work, and wanted to put that everything back into myself and I know a lot of people were not in those situations most of the time. We're really not. But if you use your community networks and your partners, and find out how to build a family around you to get where you want to be. that is going to be the first step.
If Inever came to the Promise Program, I can promise you that I would have never been where I am today. Because, my mind was going so many places. There were some…they were everywhere that I didn't have somebody to say, “Hey, what do you want for you? No…about what the kids need? Stop… about what's happening in life? We're gonna forget about all that. What does Paradise need?” I would never be here today.
So that is the first thing and that came from a partner in the neighborhood. Right here on 37th is where I stayed. And the library is right down the street. And if it wasn't for this program, I would not be who I am. You have to use your neighbors, you have to use your community neighbors, and you have to step up and tell them what you need. Because that's what they're here for. And without the resources in our community, you cannot navigate to be who you need to be. It takes off a lot of stress.
So, just opening up and speaking up for what you need…like…you have to. even though you're going to get a lot of “Nos. or you're not going to get what you need, but I know if you are determined, there'll be people that stand out. And they're going to notice you. And you'll make it.
That would be my thing—if you believe in yourself, that's going to be the number one. Believe in yourself and give yourself as much self-love that you give to everything else to yourself
Nate:
Well, I'm just going to start calling you Coach Paradise, because that was dynamite. We're inspired and ready to take the court right now.
Sorry.
Sports analogies. Can’t help it.
Paradise:
Thank you.
Nate:
Again, she will never accept this, but Kelsey is extraordinary at what she does. I know you…that was like our first call, you were like, “Kelsey was like the best ever.” And I’m like, “I know. I know…”
Paradise
“...I'm going through a lot right now. Let me tell you if you're not gonna be like her. it ain't gonna work.”
Nate:
She is the standard
Paradise:
Kelsey, you… you’ve got one right here. He is amazing. And you know me. You know that things have been really tough. And I don't like to share a lot. he has come in and has been a guardian angel, very, very much like you.
So, I don't know if you trained him or not, or if…I don't know if the Promise Program just has an amazing group of people who understand life and other people's struggles.
You guys are amazing. Like, literally, it's family that I didn't have. And you guys have brought out the purpose of my life, and I'm truly thankful. And I appreciate you guys for being there when life is up and down, and just having somebody that never gives up on you no matter what.
That is the key, and that's what I feel like I have with you and the Promise Program.
Nate:
Well, Paradise…Kelsey, we have to tell her, though…right?
I mean, the thing is, Kelsey and I always talk about this— literally, we do as close to nothing as possible. We are just people that are there because you—as you said—you did all the work.
Kelsey:
t's true. The credit goes to you, Paradise, because it's true. It's a joy getting to partner with you, and watch you on this journey. And it's a joy…like, we love doing it. And we believe in you ,and it's very genuine.
I'm delighted every time we get to talk.
